“The thing about time is that memories eventually pool together into a singular past. The first time we met, the first time we talked, our first fight and our last; it all becomes one. It takes effort to open it back up, to look up the details and read back the past. Things happened so quickly back then. You and I got caught in the current and we drifted, far and apart.”
When Caleb Simão returns to his rural California hometown to prepare his childhood home for sale, he expects a brief visit.
Instead, memories of Brandon Murphy resurface.
Ten years earlier, Caleb and Brandon's relationship grew on the margins of a community shaped by religious conservatism. What they built felt, at first, like a way out. It also made them vulnerable. Against mounting pressures, their bond fractured, ending in betrayal and a moment of violence neither one could fully process.
Now, moving through the familiar landscapes of his past, Caleb is drawn back to that final year together. As he attempts to build a life elsewhere-and pursue a tentative new relationship-Caleb must confront questions of desire and repression, distance and return, and what it means to carry someone with you long after they've gone.
FINALIST - 2024 Autumn House Press Fiction Prize, judged by Kristin Arnett
SEMI-FINALIST - 2024 Black Lawrence Press Big Moose Prize
“The Pacific End is a beautiful first novel of unbearable longing, desire, and regret. Jacob Anthony Moniz is a natural stylist and singular talent; one feels this is only the beginning.”
- Elizabeth McKenzie, author of The Dog of the North